Caravan fun

We picked up the caravan on Friday and went camping for the weekend.

I nearly wiped out both the caravan and someone's car within a minute of collecting the caravan. I picked it up from a behind a petrol garage and I had to maneouvre it between the pumps. I wasn't used to how wide you have to turn in order to get it round stuff. I looked in my mirrors and I was about a cm away from hitting the front of a car, so i slammed on the brakes reversed a bit and managed to get round OK. Luckily EVERYONE at the garage was watching, so that wasn't embarrassing at all. After a couple of other close shaves I managed to get onto the open road.

Roundabouts are the most difficult thing to master. Anyway - eventually, and remarkably without damage, we arrived at the campsite about 6-ish, just as it was getting dark.

"Do you think we should get a torch", "NOOO", "Are you sure", "Of COURSE I'm sure"

FuckShitBollocksWank when you do not know how anything works on a caravan, it makes it easier if you have the power of vision. Not for me, that's just not hard or embarrassing enough. An hour and a half later I've just about managed to work light, heat and water out. It would take me another day and a significant amount of stink to work out I'd not sorted the chemical toilet out. Nice.

Despite all this we had a lovely weekend. The kids got up at 4.15am on the Saturday and we had a lie in until 5.30am on the Sunday. Laura and Nathan joined us on Sunday, and we went home so the kids would get a decent nights sleep, leaving the caravan until Monday when we were putting it into storage. All the stresses of setting up were behind us and now it was plain sailing. WRONG.

In the general spirit of total unpreparedness that I pride myself on, I took James to pick up the caravan at 6am on Monday morning. It took me 20 minutes or so to get hooked up and then we were ready to go, and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself - until we tried to go. The field was very wet and the car just dug into the ground. Rather than accept failure I tried several maneouvres, each time ploughing up a new line in the field. Get some wood under the tyres? No. Carpet? No. Nothing worked.

Wait 2 hours until the farm hands are awake and get the tractors to tow you out, past the other caravans like a grand parade of fuckwittery? Yes that'll do it. Thank God, I won't be going there again.