Eulogy for Linda

Isn’t it funny how you only really think hard about a person when they’ve gone? As I thought about what I would say today I thought about what words describe Linda best.

Devoted, generous, shy, proud, persistent, green-fingered, bossy, clever, spiky, single-minded, fragile.

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She was born Linda May Clarke on the 8th July 1944, a first child to her parents Hilda and George.

She lived on a small holding Hillforde in Hickling Pastures with her 3 younger brothers, Alan - then Eric and finally Malcolm. It was a fairly rural upbringing – and by her own admission she was a country girl at heart.

She went to Upper Broughton School and then to Sarsons school in Melton Mowbray. One memory her brothers have and she had retold to us was there was due to be a Cliff Richard concert in a local town and she was told that she was forbidden to go. Of course she defied her parents and went anyway and took the consequences, which I think she said was a belt. So she was stubborn even then!

After school she continued to live at home and worked at the River Authority as a clerk, where she met Chris. They fell in love and married in 1968 – when she was 25. They moved to a flat on Derby Road and while they were there had their first child together, Louise in 1970. They moved onto Mayfield Drive in Stapleford in 1971, and had their second child Jonathan in 1973.

These early years at Mayfield included happy times and the children remember all holidays in Norfolk, which Linda would save up for, but they did seem to involve a number of trips to the pub!

Whilst the children were younger Linda worked behind the bar at various local pubs, mainly at the Sherwin Arms where she became lifelong friends with Landlord and lady Hugh and Joy Jones, a friendship that would be very special to her in the years ahead.

In 1986 she went, nervously, back to work full-time at Price-Waterhouse to maintain the filing system for the Company records.

As the marriage went on, the difference in what Linda and Chris wanted from life meant that the marriage unravelled and in 1987 after 19 years of marriage Chris and Linda divorced.

Linda was 44 and was thankful at this time to have her job at Price Waterhouse to help pay the new mortgage for a new home in Anderson Crescent – Beeston, and was glad of her friendships there too - especially her close and long friendship with Barbara, Linda used to enjoy going out and on holiday with Barbara very much.

It was a particularly hard period for Linda over the next few years as she tried to get over the divorce, move into a new home, look after the children and hold down a full-time job.

She unwittingly added to her sadness by having a relationship with a man over the next 10 years who would consistently let her down. This affected her confidence deeply. And her health also deteriorated.

She moved into what was to be her final home at Broadoak drive in Stapleford in 1998. Her health failed dramatically as a routine operation gave her complications when she was due to move in.

She found work very tiring. Linda retired early through ill-health from Price Waterhouse in October 2002. The tests were inconclusive as to what was causing Linda’s breathlessness.

That’s the history, but what do we remember that Linda liked to do?

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Well she enjoyed gardening very much but she had a very laid back style of gardening – she didn’t garden by the rules, moving , planting and seeding when she wanted, and she used to say they’ve got two chances they can either live or die!

She enjoyed cooking and entertaining – and enjoyed the social side of sharing meals

She liked crosswords & quizzes and was quite competitive. Her friend Pauline – who I’ll talk about in a moment. Say’s this… (separate page)

She was an avid reader – she used to take John and Lou to the Library as kids and always enjoyed reading & encouraged the children to read.

She liked giving presents, although she was always very sure about what you wanted, whether you wanted it or not. In fact the day she died she’d made a list about what flower bulbs she wanted to buy her friends.

There is no doubt Linda had the stuffing knocked out of her by the events of her life and her failing health. But she never portrayed herself as a victim, she was a do-er, Linda gave everything in order to keep on keeping on for herself and for her children. All the more painful then that when she was beginning to be able to enjoy herself again in retirement that her life was cut cruelly and suddenly short.

With that in mind its hard to think of positive things about the end of Linda’s life but lets consider this together. John said last week that that Saturday wasn’t her day to die – but her day to die could have been back in February 1998, when that serious complication of a supposedly routine operation landed Linda into intensive care with a collapsed lung and her life hung in the balance.

For the 6 years since that date she has had the continued strength of friendship of Joy and Barbara.

She had nearly two years of retirement, where she didn’t have to get up early for work

She had a warmer, less neglected house

She’s seen her 3 grandchildren, James Anna and Lara grow up and develop

Her son John was living with her for the last 6 months

She had built a close friendship with Pauline, her neighbour from 1971 at Mayfield Drive who by coincidence or by God’s grace, depending on how you look at it, was her next door neighbour again in 1998, after going through a divorce herself. She took Linda under her wing and worked with her in the Sue Ryder volunteer team at the Stapleford shop. Linda loved to go out with the girls from Sue Ryder, building good friendships with the people there.

She did have a chance to enjoy her life more in those 6 years and thanks from the bottom of all the family’s hearts to all those who helped give Linda that respite in her last years.

So as we think of Linda, however we knew her, I hope I can speak for all of us when I say:

Linda - we celebrate and thank-you for your life, your friendship, commitment and love.

We remember you in our hearts as work-mate, sister, mum, granny and friend.

We are proud of you, we wish you truly rest in peace.